Stupid is as Stupid does...

I have to go to the doctor.

There. I've said it. (or at least written it)

I have to go to the doctor.

I did it again.

See, I have this problem with doctors. I'm not scared of them, it's just that they want to prescribe medicine, and I'm just not a medicine taker. Oh, I'm not entirely crazy.....I've been known to partake in a little NyQuil from time to time (aka the miracle drug) but that's only when the sickness is so bad that I only have a choice between NyQuil and suffocating myself with a pillow.

The fact that society as a whole is overmedicated is a factor in my reluctance to visit said doctors, but I also have this whole belief of a mind, body, spirit balance (which is an entirely different blog) which makes me think that the body can take care of itself. You just have to listen to what it says.

But I digress. In this situation, I have to go to the doctor to have them look at my knee. Which sucks.

See, I was in a car accident in August of 2004. By Car Accident, I mean there was a car, and there was Emily on rollerblades. The car won. My left knee lost. I have since learned that you should *not* rollerblade at 5:00am - even through Fishers, which is a fairly safe, well to do community. Apparently there are some well to do men who just have to make their tee times, and don't have time to look for pedestrians on their way to the very exclusive golf course. I did go to a doctor then, but this was only two days later when I couldn't bend my knee or walk. The doctor (very young and cute by the way) x-rayed my knee, said he didn't see any tears or fractures, and determined that I should just let it heal on its own. No joke. He then charged me about $150.00. Fabulous.

My problem now, in March of 2006, is that I am training to run in the Indianapolis Mini-Marathon. I'm doing pretty well, actually, but the further I run, the more I feel something is not completely okay with my knee. It's not that it hurts, exactly, just that the joint feels....loose....in a sinister sort of way. I've been wearing various knee braces depending on my activity for the evening (one for running, another for Pilates, another for volleyball, etc.) But it's gotten to the point where the knee aches for days now.

So if I was not stubborn, and I was following my own advice, I would say that my knee is telling me that it can't handle the amount of running that I'm making it do, and I need to slow down a bit. Maybe entirely. It might be telling me that the elliptical machine is my new best friend.

And I know this. And I know I'm ignoring my body's advice, and I'm relying on knee braces to help me through this. I can ignore unspoken advice. But I really really really don't want the doctor to tell me I can't run the mini. Seriously. This is the 8th week of training. I'm up to running 8 miles. That's HUGE. When I started, I could only run 3 miles - on a good day - with an oxygen tank.

So I'm bummed. And postponing the inevitable.

But I have to go to the doctor. :-(