"You guys aren't helping my case any."
That was my friend's boyfriend. Apparently they boyfriend and I were not supporting him properly in his quest to move in with his girlfriend.
In our defense, he asked us how long we had been dating when we moved in together. the boyfriend said,
"Uh oh. She's going to get mad. I'm not sure....How long were we dating before we moved in together?"
"Hell if I know. Let's see...we started dating in March of 2004 and moved in together in June of 2006. So about two and a half years."
This is when we were informed that we weren't helping his case any. They have been dating eight months. He went on to tell us that they were practically living together anyway....he was basically paying rent at a place he was never at. She responded to this by saying, "But it's MY place. He has HIS place." Made sense to me!
"Well, the boyfriend wanted to move in together for months before we actually did. I was holding out....I wasn't sure it was the right decision. Plus, I loved my apartment."
This is when the boyfriend shot me a dirty look while my friend grinned. Then my friend asked,
"How was moving in together?"
"Oh it was hell."
"Oh, c'mon MAN!" (That was my friend's boyfriend.)
"Yeah. It was pretty bad. But things are beter now, aren't they?" (Boyfriend)
"Oh yes. Things are definitely better now."
"You wouldn't be able to tell me if things are still bad. Not with Nate sitting right there, would you?" my friend asked.
"Yes she would. She's pretty direct. She would tell you if things were still bad." This was the boyfriend.
"So things are better now? They couldn't have been that bad, right?"
"Oh, trust me. They were bad. They're better now, but they were bad. BAD." This is when my friend Dave chimed in for the first time. He had previously been identified as my best guy friend. Specifically, 'the person I call when the boyfriend doesn't answer the phone.'
Here's where the boyfriend and I tried to explain,
"There was just a period of adjustment..."
"Her cat was peeing on my clothing..."
"His dog is nutso. If it weren't for his dog, things might have gone a bit easier..."
(a slight pause while we both nodded.)
"The dog and the cat are better now. Tyson just chases her when we're not looking. He doesn't try to put her in his mouth anymore. And the boyfriend is warming up to the idea of drugging him...."
"Anyway, you guys don't have dogs...so that's a good thing."
My friend noted, "Yes, but I have a cat. I have him feeding the cat so the cat will like him."
"That is KEY. Feeding the cat is definitely a good idea." (this from the boyfriend. The guy who used to have his clothes peed on by the cat.)
"Yes, things are definitely much better now....except for that whole 'dirty-clothes-go-in-the-hamper' thing. He still hasn't learned that lesson."
(The boyfriend slowly turned in my direction and shot me a look of death.)
"He doesn't know how to fold," my friend added, pointing to her boyfriend.
"And I don't want to." he added.
"We divided the chores," I advised. "I do dishes and laundry. HE vacuumes and cleans bathrooms. That helps."
"AND I take out the trash."
"WHATEVER! That's a five minute chore, so it doesn't really count."
"Not when the ONLY dumpster is a quarter mile away from our apartment."
"Okay, do you REALLY want to add up all the time I spend on dishes and laundry and nagging you to vacuum and compare it to the time you actually spend on your chores? Really?? You want to have this discussion?"
Yep. Things are definitely much better now.