Vacation

Summer break is so close that I can almost taste it. It tastes like freshly cut grass and bike rides and sun and long walks with the dogs. It tastes like filling the hours between 5pm and 10pm with enjoyable activities (like volleyball!!) instead of class. It tastes like normal. And during the school year, I never really contrast my evenings with the evenings of summer, I just do what needs to be done. But man...this close to having a three month break? I am totally drooling over filling my hours with friends and fun instead of schoolwork and stress.

Speaking of which, I had a formal report due in my organic chem lab. And unfortunately, my responsible side fought a losing battle with my procrastinating side. Don't get me wrong... responsibility fought the good fight and made me clean my house and do the dishes, but couldn't QUITE get me to write my paper. Instead procrastination decided that it would be a better use of my time to watch Stephen King's "It." At night. Alone. (Don't ever do this. Trust me.)

The paper was due on Tuesday. I finally made myself sit down and write it on Monday evening. All at once. In about two hours. The formatting of the paper took longer than the actual writing. I think I finished up my edits about 45 minutes before the paper was due. I berated myself extensively and promised to never ever procrastinate again ever.

And then last night my lab TA told me that I got 50/50 points on my paper, and in fact, it's one of the standards against which she graded the rest of the class. Oh and also? She's giving it to the professor who heads up ALL of the sections of ochem lab so that he can use it as a standard as well.

WTF?

This positive reinforcement for procrastination? Not needed in my world. It will just be that much harder to write the next paper in a reasonable timeframe. And at my age? Recovering from the stress of procrastination ain't as easy as it once was. Instead of alcohol, it involves much sleeping and cuddling with dogs and eating of melted cheese.

Mmmmm....melted cheese.

Tonight I am going to fill my hours with ochem homework in an attempt to prepare myself for a final on May 5th. You know you're jealous. Feel free to tell me all about your exciting weekends so that I can live vicariously through you.

Just one more week....

The Bunny!!!

Fact - Last Thursday, April 22nd, was my last organic chem lab ever. Well, until I get into vet school (note the confidence.)

Fact - Tomorrow night is my first of three finals

Fact - I haven't yet turned to Taco Bell and regular Coke.

Hypothesis - I'm handling things pretty well so far.

Fact - I've gotten word that the final tomorrow is much more difficult than anyone anticipated

Fact - That news almost made me want to get a regular Coke. Unfortunately, zlionsfan has banned me from ever imbibing caffeine and sugar at the same time. However, he didn't outlaw JUST caffeine. Diet Mt. Dew FTW!!!

Fact - I've pretty much decided to live at the home of my chemistry genius friend until our final next Wednesday, May 5th.

Fact - My test scores have increased by 20 percentage points since studying with my chemistry genius friend.

Fact - My chemistry genius friend is the friend who lives with a bunny.

Hypothesis - This makes studying much more enticing.

Fact - last night when I got out of class early, I called the boy and invited him to dinner. He turned me down cold. Instead, I went to study with my genius chemistry friend. Have I mentioned that she's the one with the bunny? Anyhow, when she said I could come over, I asked if she was hungry and offered to bring dinner. She said that they were already making dinner and did I want to join them? They were having steak. Did I like steak?

Fact - while consuming steak and studying, I also managed to get head-butted by an "aggressive bunny."

Fact - I didn't cause it. A cat did. I was just an outlet for outrage.

Fact - it was the most adorable intimidating gesture I've ever seen.

Hypothesis - I'm in love with the bunny. I'm pretty sure you would be too, if you met him. Luckily, I took a picture so that you can judge for yourself. Go ahead and feel free to let me know if my hypothesis is correct.

Fact - I will spend the rest of the evening studying. Feel free to pray for me.

Two's Company...Three makes me Blue

Blue's back for a brief two week visit while my parents continue their efforts to visit every city in the world. Every time I get to have him home with me, it elicits some sort of response that includes the word, "Bluuuuuuuuuuuuue," or "suchagoodboy."

I don't know how I continue to forget the very distinct differences between Blue and Casey. I think it's perhaps because the cuteness of Blue overshadows everything else about him when, you know, he's not around every day. But now? Man, that dog is clingy. Casey sure does love me, but after our walks, she's off napping on the couch, chasing the cat, checking the perimeters of the house for intruders, etc. Blue would prefer to be right next to me at all times. I'm pretty sure that I'll end up breaking my neck when I step back in my kitchen someday and just fall over the dog lying behind me while I cook. He also fancies himself good at organic chem and insists on helping me with my homework, as illustrated by this horrible cell phone picture.

Ever since my last visit to my parent's house, they've been telling me about a problem they've been having with Blue. Namely that he won't get into his crate to sleep at night. Where he used to just walk right into his kennel with no problems, they now end up either having to literally carry him into his crate (my dad,) or threatening him loudly until he gives in so that the noises stop (my mom.)

I'll be honest. I was over-confident. Suuuuuure they couldn't get the dog into his crate. They're just not dog experts like I am. They are obviously not being calm and assertive. They just don't know how to work with dogs. I mean, Blue may as well be named "Your Highness" at their house with his designated couch spots and routine of going out and coming in with only a single bark as notification that he wants something to change. He rules that place.

And so, the first night visiting my parents, I made a $10 bet with my dad that Blue would go right into his crate with no yelling, no carrying, and no stress.

I won $5. Blue walked right up to his crate and then crouched there, looking at me pitifully as if to say, "If you don't put me in there, I'll love you forever." He required some nudging to take his final grudging steps into his crate.

Still, I was not daunted. "He's just spoiled here," I thought, "We'll get him back to Indy and he'll be just fine."

Um, not so much.

Monday morning was another episode into stopping about a foot outside his crate and cowering like he was going to die. Monday evening before class I almost had him fooled as I raced the dogs down into the basement. Casey rocketed into her crate and stood triumphantly, "WINNER!!" Blue skidded to a stop just outside his crate and stopped. Damn.

Tuesday morning I literally had to carry 50lbs of pit bull down the stairs into my basement and deposit him into his crate. My biceps still haven't forgiven me. Tuesday afternoon I just kept him on his leash and tugged the unwilling dog down the stairs into his crate.

Wednesday morning brought more carrying. Ouch. Wednesday afternoon I knew that my biceps couldn't take another carrying trip, so I walked behind him all the way down to his crate. Each time he tried to turn around, I just body blocked him. Success!

Now? We're back to normal. Blue follows Casey downstairs and into his crate. Sweet sweet success. Because honestly? I couldn't carry him downstairs again. And I know that dogs don't think like this...that they live in the moment...but I can't help but think that Blue didn't really realize how good he had it with my retired parents and his routine of sleeping on the couch all day (not to mention going outside whenever he wanted to.) I can't help but think that he's down in that crate right now cursing to himself, "If ONLY I had behaved better and gone into my crate, they wouldn't have sent me back!"

Don't worry buddy. It's only temporary. You'll be back to being top dog soon. Believe me, Casey's looking forward to it too.

Wherein I am as delighted as a 5-year-old

I am exhausted today. I feel as though I could sleep for 1000 years if only given a chance.

I'm sure it's no coincidence that I have an organic test tonight.

But I did have a very productive weekend this weekend.

That doesn't mean I spent a lot of time studying...oh no. But I sure did spend a lot of time doing other things that needed to be done. Like sweeping and mopping the entire house. Like quickly cleaning the bathroom. Like walking the dog for hours. Like laundry. Like various female grooming habits that have been ignored as of late.

And THEN, when I couldn't find one more thing that I had on my to-do list before studying, I took a nap.

Believe you me, I needed it. Because then I studied organic chemistry for five hours straight. I discussed it with a friend. I drew mechanisms. I read my notes.

I still don't feel the slightest bit prepared for the test tonight. FYI.

It's okay, though. I feel....at peace. I've done what I can do.

Besides, my friend? The one I studied with for five straight hours? The brilliant friend who got a 91 on the last organic chem test? (Which I didn't even think was possible.) She has a rabbit. Among other animals, because, you know, she wants to be a vet. Like me. Except she has a house. And lots of animals. And....a bunny. And when I went over there on Saturday, there was a bunny just hopping around the living room....interacting with the cats and the people like, "What? It is totally ordinary that I am here."

I was ridiculously geeked about the bunny. I believe my first sentence was "You live with the EASTER BUNNY!!!"

My friend quickly learned that my happiness is on par with a five-year-old when I'm really really excited about something. A fact that the boy reiterated the next day. Because the next day when he came over, I believe the first words out of my mouth were about the bunny and I didn't stop talking about it until he agreed to go over and MEET the bunny.

This song came up a few times.*

Alas, I did not take a picture of the bunny. (Shameful, I know.) But have no doubt that I will. There is still a final to study for. And the bunny? Well he makes the studying all that much more enticing.

Until then, I will just keep repeating, "I do not need a rabbit. I do not need a rabbit. I do not have TIME for a rabbit. I can not have a rabbit." You know, even though my friend keeps informing me that foster homes are always needed. (I could be a foster bunny mom!!)

Oh dear.

*What? I totally watch Veggietales. You have to ask yourself, why don't YOU?

Heartache

“A Parable of Immortality” by Henry van Dyke.

I am standing by the seashore.
A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze
and starts for the blue ocean.
She is an object of beauty and strength,
and I stand and watch
until at last she hangs like a speck of white cloud
just where the sun and sky come down to mingle with each other.

Then someone at my side says, ‘There she goes!’
Gone where? Gone from my sight – that is all.

She is just as large in mast and hull and spar
as she was when she left my side
and just as able to bear her load of living freight
to the places of destination.
Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
‘There she goes!’
There are other eyes watching her coming,
and other voices ready to take up the glad shout:
‘Here she comes!’