Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Case of the Mysterious Spot

Day 1

WHAT I HEARD FROM MY MOTHER:

M: Blue peed in the house last night.

E: WHAT?!

M: I don't know. But he peed in the house. Does this mean he'll always pee in the house? Will we have to get rid of him?

E: Hold on a moment. Blue peed in the house? But he's housebroken? He wouldn't have peed in the house unless he really really really had to go! Did you let him out before you went to bed?

M: I did. And usually when he has to pee, I'll hear 'click click click click click' as he paces on the floors. But he didn't wake me up last night. I must have slept through it. Will he always pee in the house now?

E: Well... he doesn't WANT to pee in the house. He only does that if he has no other choice. Because he's housebroken. Since he's housebroken, he pees outside. Because he's, you know... housebroken. But I guess... if he's in the position again where he really has to go pee... and he can't get outside... now that he's peed there once, that will be "his spot." But it won't MAKE him pee inside. (pause) Are you SURE he peed inside?

M: Oh yes. I woke up and there was pee on the floor of the living room. I cleaned it up really well, but that's all I can do, right? It couldn't have been the cat. It was definitely Blue.

E: Okay. Well, I guess it's possible he's getting too old to hold it for the 18 hours you guys sleep per night...

M: That's your father!

E: ...so if worse comes to worst and it happens again, I guess you can always crate him through the night. I just can't believe he peed in the house.

M: If it were the cat, it would smell of ammonia. Right? Cat pee smells like ammonia.

E: Oh yes. Cat pee is unmistakable.

M: I knew it wasn't the cat. We'll see what happens.

WHAT I HEARD FROM MY FATHER:

Absolutely nothing on the subject.

Day 3

WHAT I HEARD FROM MY MOTHER:

M: Blue peed in the house again!

E: What? I can't believe this!

M: Yes. Blue peed in the house. I don't know what to do. I let him out before I go to bed, and he still pees in the house. Stupid dog. I will just have to crate him overnight now.

E: Bummer. Poor Blue.

WHAT I HEARD FROM MY FATHER:

Absolutely nothing on the subject.

Day 5

WHAT I HEARD FROM MY MOTHER:

Absolutely nothing on the subject

WHAT I HEARD FROM MY FATHER:

D: Oh! Did your mother tell you about Blue peeing?

E: Yes. She told me that Blue was peeing in the house.

D: Yeah. Yeah. She really blamed Blue for peeing in the house. So I went out and bought a baby gate* and put it up in the doorway. And in the morning, there was pee again. So I asked her, 'Do you really think Blue jumped over that baby gate? Do you really?'**

E: Oh yeah?

D: Poor Blue. He was the target of all those mean thoughts for some time. And it was the cat. The cat the whole time.

E: I'm glad you got it figured out. Did you give Blue treats to make up for it?

D: Did I give him...? Of course I gave him treats! He gets more treats than... well, than most dogs I would guess. He's a good boy. If he's got to go outside at night, he comes over and wakes me up to take him out.*** He's just a great dog. Look, he's coming over now. Aren't you Blue? You're a good boy. Good boy Blue.

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More than anything about this story, I love the subtext. I never got to hear it, but I can imagine the silent (or not so silent - Who knows?) difference of opinion that was occurring with my mother immediately blaming Blue and my father immediately siding with Blue. I love that I got the entire story completely one sided from my mom until the resolution, which came from my father.

I also love that my father has learned not to argue. He probably said something once about how it may have been the cat, and then just let my mother disagree. But I'm certain he purchased the first cheap baby gate he saw. He may have even made a special trip. And now that he's right? I'm also sure he won't say anything about it to my mom.

Unless there's alcohol involved.

Alcohol and perhaps a daughter to stir the pot.

Good thing I get to visit in about 10 days, huh?

*I'm not gonna lie. The thought that flashed through my brain here was that he had purchased a nanny cam to catch the perpetrator in the act. Seriously. When my dad does something, he doesn't go halfway. I'm glad I was wrong. The baby gate makes much more sense. I forgot that my dad is sensible. Unlike me, apparently.

**Answer: No. Blue couldn't have jumped over the baby gate even if he had a trampoline and both cats helping him.

***This totally made me wonder if Blue is running some sort of scam where he wakes up both of them at different times in the night so that he can go out more than once? Maybe Blue is smarter than I give him credit for?

2 comments:

JennyG said...

When I read your Dad's side of the story, I also thought Blue must be waking them both up. What a good boy, Blue!!

museumminute said...

I love Blue.