Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Daddy's Girl

"So he monopolizes my conversation, asks me what I'm doing this weekend, and then turns red, starts sputtering and runs off. WHAT THE HELL?! SERIOUSLY! I am SO done with younger men. Why do I keep dating them? I mean, how much do I have to teach them? I helped him out! I said that I was free this weekend. Then I asked him what HE was doing this weekend! What more do I have to do?! I am NOT asking him out! That's HIS job!! I've paid my dues. I've taught younger men. This school is closed. Move along Junior."

(helpless laughter.)

"Seriously!! From a male perspective, do you know what zlionsfan said that I should have answered when Junior asked me what I was doing this weekend? 'Nothing. What did you have in mind.' Can you believe that?? How much help do young boys NEED?? That's it. I'm dating only older men from here on out."

"Are you serious? You've never dated an older man in your life."

"Yes, I'm serious. I need someone older. Someone who can handle things. You know? Who will make reservations at a restaurant for date instead of having me take care of every little thing....maybe he would slip the waiter a twenty to get us a good table."

"Oh come on. No one does anymore that unless they're 55."

"Okay, okay. You know what I mean. Someone who just handles things. Who just takes care of stuff. If I have a problem, he just makes it go away."

"Oh my God! You want to date your father!"

"I do NOT want to date my father. Ew!"

(...)

"But, you know, if my dad had written a book, I'm not sure I would mind if the guy I'm dating had read it..."

11 comments:

alisa said...

I think your dad and my stepdad should conduct a seminar - teach the potential men in their daughters' lives what it takes to be a good "man."

I'll set it up.

Jac said...

Ummm - even the older ones need help. The guys who don't need help are the ones you should watch out for. Please - think about some of the guys I've dated - they knew how to pick up a girl but not how to treat her. Nice guys need help.

Candace said...

Thank you for bringing humor to the end of my long day.

kat(i)e said...

I totally agree with jac - it's always the guy who puts the smooth moves on, opens all the doors, and tips the host - who ends up hitting on your friends. Young or old, just get one a little naive and train the hell out him :)

ems said...

I'm done with the training. Don't they come pre-packaged anymore? Man. Who discontinued THAT item?

BSJ said...

I wish you could see my eyes rolling... And I thought you were a "modern" woman. Pfffffft...

Moore said...

I believe the type of older men you mention do exist outside of male family members, thankfully. However, I believe the youngest you are going to find with those traits are 40 with most being 50 and older. So basically you are going to need to become a trophy girlfriend who will defer to him on most things. He will need to be the smart one, the one who makes the most money etc.

ems said...

"Modern woman" does not mean "Has to ask the guy out." I'm all for equal opportunity and such, so if a girl WANTED to ask a guy out - go for it. Me? Sometimes I just think it's better to be wooed. Part of the wooing is the asking out. :-)

Oh, and I would abosolutely suck as a trophy girlfriend. I have too many opinions (among other things... :-)

BSJ said...

I didn't say you had to ask the guy out, but if you're so concerned... Maybe its you who should be the wooer, and he the wooee. Otherwise, it mustn't be too big of a deal.

zlionsfan said...

I realize that you are (strongly) averse to change, but something worth considering is what your current behavior is producing for you. After all, if you don't change, we already know what you will be doing next month.

Also, you're spending a lot of time on a college campus. If you aren't going to ask out a guy, then chances are the ones who ask you out are going to be younger, and what are the odds that the one that does isn't going to need training? (Also see comments above that experience != quality.)

There are always other possibilities, but it looks to me like a) you can ask someone out, b) you can wait for another twenty-something to ask you out, or c) you can read Chapter 5 in this book you've had on your shelf for years.

ems said...

A pox on you, zlionsfan! This blog is not about reality! Besides, what you are advocating is change to attract a man. I should change? But then what is he really being attracted to? A fake Emily? Hmmm... I don't do "fake" very well. And despite what you may think, asking a guy out sets a tone that I don't necessarily want to continue throughout the relationship. Dear God, I'll take the lead on so many other things...the least he could do is ask me out.

Despite my bellyaching, I have complete and total faith that I'll find Mr. Right eventually, and I'll still be the same charming Emily when it happens. :-) For the time being, I'll settle for Mr. Right Now, but he has to be able to at least ask me out. After that I'll give him all the help he needs...