Vertically Challenged

Those of you who know me know that I am, ahem, of a stature that is on the shorter end of the scale. My favorite fun fact about me is that I was born at 22 inches long, and am currently at a whopping 60 inches tall. I've basically grown three feet and two inches in 30 years.

Awesome.

It was actually less time than that. My report cards show that I did have a growth spurt in the fifth grade when I hit 60 inches, and I haven't grown since. (unless you count horizontal growth. Boo! BTW - do you remember when report cards tracked all that stuff?? Man, I'm old.) I was actually tall for a while. Too bad I can't remember it.

I generally don't notice that I'm short. I mean, I've been short my whole life so it's not like my perspective on the world has changed or anything. I can't even distinguish between different heights. When everyone is taller than you are, it's hard to tell if they're 5'7" or 6'0". (Of course, when they're really tall, I can usually tell that. Think basketball player height. When my neck starts to hurt from looking them in the eye, I usually figure they're taller than normal...)

The first time the boyfriend kissed me (after his last model-esque 5'7" girlfriend) he laughed. He said it definitely took some getting used to. Not that he's all that tall himself...

But when I can look someone in the eye, it's a weird enough feeling that I always know they're short. It doesn't happen often... When I see someone short (my height) I just can't believe that's how short I am. I always ask the boyfriend, "I'm not that short, am I?" The answer is inevitably yes. When I see someone else around my height, and see how short they are compared to everyone else, I literally can't believe that's how I look in a crowd. I mean, I don't FEEL that short.... I have delusions of height apparently.

Not only that, but since I have no concept of height, the only way I can figure out what's really deep, or really high is in units of me. I wish I were kidding. My family went to French Lick for New Years. There is a hallway with an over hang on the right that is about five feet high. I could walk underneath it with my head brushing the top. But looking at it, I couldn't believe that it was "one of me high." I seriously had that thought. Yes, I'm almost 30.

Isn't this a girl thing? Aren't girls supposed to be worse with spatial relationships? I certainly am.

A further example...today I heard on the Weather Channel (yes, I watch the Weather Channel in the mornings before SportsCenter) that Mt. Ranier has gotten 322 inches of snow already this year. My first thought was,

"Wow. That's almost 6 of me. That's really really deep!"