Oh How I miss thee, Cable TV

I can see the evils of TV. I really can. I know that when I'm sitting stationary in front of the TV I could be outside walking the dogs/running/enjoying the sunshine (since we're now perpetually in the Eastern time zone and it's light until nine-frigging-thirty at night.) I know I'm not getting any smarter when I'm watching the mindless drivel that is reality TV, and in fact, I'm probably using up precious space in my memory warehouse for ANTM that would be useful for, oh, say, chemistry.

+2 if you caught that reference.

But when someone tells me that they've given up TV, or worse, that they don't even OWN a TV (like Joey says, "What does all your furniture point to?",) I always mentally stick my tongue out at them. "Oh sure, you don't need TV in your life. Excuse me for having a pea sized brain that needs the flickering box (complete with mindlessness of Grey's Anatomy, and cattiness of ANTM) to increase my quality of life. Wait! Did something shiny move??" I can't help but feel less intelligent or less, I don't know...worthy because I enjoy my prime time TV.

So I gave up cable TV to see how the other half lives.

Please rest assured that this decision had nothing to do with feeling holier-than-thou and EVERYTHING to do with stupid tuition payments that are going to suck out the rest of my soul coupled with my intense resistance to accepting student loans until I'm reduced to begging for restaurant scraps and my dogs are fending for themselves on a diet consisting solely of neighborhood children.

In the beginning it wasn't so hard. In fact, it STILL wouldn't be very hard if I hadn't.... I'm getting ahead of myself.

In the beginning it wasn't so hard. Even now, I read more, I listen to my iPod, I walk the dogs a LOT and spend time outside with them as much as I can. I go out to dinner with friends and engage in plenty of conversation with wine (which probably negates saving the monthly cost of cable, but whatever...) Remarkably, I found lots of different ways to fill my evenings. Even if I chose to knit, I could put in a DVD of Friends (which I figure isn't technically cheating since I'm not really watching [due to having every Friends episode committed to memory, again taking up precious warehouse space for biology] and since it's not cable) and be perfectly happy with that. Besides, it's summertime! What's on TV now? By the time the good stuff is on I'll be back in school and won't have time for TV anyway. And right now? With the Brett Favre stories and the Brett Favre stories and the Brett Favre stories (ad nauseum) I'm sort of glad that I can't watch SportsCenter in the mornings. I have a feeling it would just make me very very angry.

And then today I was reminded that a new season of Project Runway premiered this past Wednesday.

Nevermind. I will just read the recaps online. It will be fine. (sniff)

See? This is much better. I wonder what other shows I'm missing right now. I mean, it's summer, so there's not THAT much on. Hmmm...

OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO MISS SHARK WEEK!!

Breathe. It's okay. You have plenty of friends who have TVs with cable/satellite and will share with you. Besides, it's not like Discovery doesn't recycle programs and you haven't seen them before. You only REALLY need to see the new ones.

And then I started looking into what I missed on Army Wives this season.

Didn't see that one coming, didja?

Last year I watched Army Wives religiously. I loved it. I was hooked.

This year, I convinced myself that what I didn't know I was missing, I wouldn't actually miss. So I deliberately avoided all stories, recaps, etc about the show. But today I was bored and started rooting around on YouTube to see if some generous soul had posted entire episodes.

Um, no. But there are pieces. There are certainly very small, unfulfilling and not always consecutive pieces of episodes online. Those pieces are just enough to remind me why I loved the series and why my life is sadder without it, but not enough to SHOW ME THE ENTIRE EPISODES THAT I'VE MISSED!

Damn.

I mean, I'm still not going to get cable, but now I've seen how the other half lives, and I can honestly say that I don't like it. I'm convinced that I'm still that person with a pea-sized brain whose quality of life just isn't quite what it could be with the evils of television. Bless you, my smart friends who can exist without The Deadliest Catch. Who don't miss The Dog Whisperer. Who have never even heard of Heroes or Friday Night Lights. All I can say is, "You're a better man than I, Charlie Brown."

Now, can someone please invite me over to watch Shark Week?