Hardwired

I distinctly remember when I learned to apply makeup. I was a freshman in high school, and my colorguard instructor taught me how to apply mascara, blush and eyeliner. For winterguard he taught us how to pluck our eyebrows. Eventually he noticed that we needed to use concealer - and some girls learned how to fix the eyebrows that they had botched. (And yes, he taught us the "drag queen" style for when we were performing, but when he learned of our woefully inadequate makeup-applying skills, he took pity and taught us day-to-day wear also.) Best. Makeup. Tips. Ever.

At first I was excited. I looked like I was in high school, and not a little baby middle-schooler. (I didn't.) Look at me seniors!! (They didn't.) But the more I thought about it, I was sort of perturbed. Why hadn't my mother taught me these vitally important tips? I mean, I'm a girl - she's a girl. She wears makeup. I would have eventually worn makeup. It just seems like something you would teach your daughter, right? A bonding experience, if you will. Why was my mother not teaching me these vitally important womanly skills?

A few weeks ago I went to see a play. A friend of mine has gotten involved in community theatre and I went to see her play a vitally important role in 'Charlotte's Web.' On the way to the theatre, I picked up some flowers for her. The friend that accompanied me mentioned that he never would have thought of the flowers for our friend. I stopped for a second to consider WHY exactly I had the flowers. Well, that's what you do when someone is in a play. You take them flowers like they're in the starring role, whether they are or not. That's just....what you do.

Two weeks ago marked my company's first day in our new office. It was a day of building desks, moving files and throwing away boxes. It was an exciting move with new hardwood floors, more space, crown moldings, etc etc. I brought a bottle of champagne for the end of the day when we were all moved in. Why? Because that's what you do to celebrate a new place, a new beginning, a new set of circumstances. That's just....what you do.

On a random Sunday past, I had planned to have the late afternoon/evening completely free. Homework done, dogs tired, food ordered... just me, my book, and my TV for background noise. I even pulled out the fluffy blanket to snuggle with because I knew that a nap was probable. Then a friend called with a crisis. I put aside the book, shot it one longing glance, and then wrapped up in the comfy blanket and turned off the TV because my friend needed me. That's just....what you do.

I don't know how I just know those things. How I know that when you go to someone's house for a party you take a bottle of wine or a snack and always always ask what you can do to help. How I know that if you see something that immediately makes you think of someone, you buy it for them right then and there - even if there's no occasion. (well, this happens more when I have money, but you get the idea...) How I know that even though we're "all grown up," sometimes making a fuss over a birthday is mandatory. How I know that sometimes embarrassing the heck out of the boy with PDA is the key to a healthy relationship. How I know that gossip is terrible, but if it's something juicy, and I just can't seem to keep it to myself, I had better surround myself with people who can :-) How trust is the most important thing you can have between two people. How drama just isn't worth it, and telling the truth is always the most direct way to resolve any situation. How being yourself is the best way to be - your good friends will always understand.

I fail all the time on when to send cards, and I have friends who are much more up on etiquette than I am. But after reviewing the way I'm hardwired, I don't think I mind so much about the makeup. I'm pretty sure my mom covered all the important stuff - I think she figured that I would figure the rest of the stuff out on my own.

She was right.

Besides, I don't think she knows half the killer makeup techniques I know - even though I don't use half of them. Maybe I should set up a lesson with her. You know...as a thank you.