Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Expenses and Expensive Cars

Oh, I am fired up. FIRED UP my friends. Like, pacing around my office right now yelling about how people should be tied down while I let Blue nibble on their ears. (Only I'm using many more colorful descriptions of what should be done to them. I think my boss would be disturbed if my anger didn't make him laugh so hard he can't breathe.)

But I can't write about what is currently angering me.

Well, I COULD, but it has to do with our current education system and how it's basically so flawed that people who NEED an education can't afford one and people who are TRYING THEIR BEST to get one on their own can't manage unless they're making a six figure salary, and really, if you're making a six figure salary, why would you want to go back to school? Seriously? What masochist is going to be all, "Wow. I make a great living and I'm obviously completely happy because money buys happiness, so I think I'll go back to school to be miserable and stressed. Sure! Sign me up for that shit right now!"

You know, I would say that I have to be better about managing my money, but I really don't think I can scrape anymore out of my budget that's already straining more than my jeans after the gluttonous holiday season. Not to mention that I am currently out of creative ideas for how to keep myself entertained that cost less than $0.50. And don't even get me STARTED on ramen noodles. All of that on an income that would generally be considered a decent living. You know, if I didn't have to make monthly soul-sucking tuition payments. Grrrrr....

Obviously the new semester is set to begin and I have to buy my books. Nothing makes me angrier than paying the exorbitant prices for text books. Nothing. (Well, the boy sometimes does, but it's been a while so I've forgotten.)

(Oh wait, I thought of something else that makes me just as mad. It's when you park at the best possible parking space to go into Starbucks in the morning.* (you know the one, the one that is right in front of the door and right by the end of the curb?) It's obviously the best spot and you just happened to pull up when it was empty, so you're in a pretty good mood when you enter the store. And you're STILL in a good mood when you EXIT the store with your yummy Starbucks drink only to find that some asshole in their tiny, overpriced BMW has decided that there is just enough space for him to park his tiny penile overcompensation behind your car and only overhang the curb by four inches. Of course no one will hit him! He has a BMW! It is a VERY IMPRESSIVE CAR! Nevermind that in order to only overhang the curb by four inches, he had to park RIGHT ON YOUR BUMPER! And of course since you're a cautious driver, you had parked pretty close to the car in front of you so as to NOT overhang the curb in any way shape or form. So you must sit in your car and wait an extra five minutes until Mr. Small Penis comes out of Starbucks and removes his ostentatious toy from your car's ass. Yeah. That makes me mad too.)

Wow. I feel a lot better now. So I'm going to go home and walk my dogs and break the news to them that they are NOT, in fact, going to daycare like I promised. All because my physics textbook costs more than most car payments. (Yes, you read that right. I have physics this semester. Whoopee!!)

I was going to post my new years resolutions, but then I realized that my track record with resolutions is not so good, so why would I want to make my failure public? Instead I'll just say that I began the new year surrounded by friends, and I hope that's how I'll end it as well.

*A visit that is only possible because of the generosity of friends who give you Starbucks gift cards for Christmas. Thanks! I love you!!


zlionsfan said...

I'm not saying I would ever actually do this, but it would be fun to see how far out into the intersection you could move said BMW.

The theory is that with a reasonable engine - oh right, Curvy might not have it - you'd back up very slowly until you were touching his bumper, and then you'd accelerate smoothly, slowly pushing the car backward until you had enough room to pull into traffic, and then you would.

Of course, there are other ways of handling this, depending on the quality of your car and your friendship with the local police department. Ideally, you'd simply make a call and have Mr. Small Penis chasing a tow truck. Or you can resort to something I saw in a movie once and simply make space.

If you know a few strong people, you can also relocate the car.

Not that I would ever recommend any of these ideas.

Andy said...

So are you bitter and upset about all this? It was just a little hard for me to tell ;)

I hated buying books and all that stuff too- like you're throwing money away.