A Sticking Point

This past weekend the boy and I were trapped in a car together for over six hours. It lead to some interesting conversation.* This is noteworthy not because interesting conversation is usually lacking in our relationship, but more because I thought we had already extensively covered every topic of conversation under the sun. I stand corrected.

We discussed our relationship quite a bit. It was old ground that had already been covered...from our inability to live together (with Satan) and his future career ideas. At one point it came up that I did not want an engagement before I was done with vet school. That gave the boy at LEAST five more years to decide whether or not I was the girl for him.** He asked what would happen if I didn't get into vet school?

"Well, in that case I would kill myself, so there's nothing to worry about."***

"We are certainly non-traditional. That would put us at, what, at least ten years of dating before making it official?"

"Wow... Well, we could always be like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell and never get married."

"We can't be like them. Goldie Hawn is a hippie. You're nowhere near being a hippie."

"My dad thinks I am!! Besides, I know I'm not a hippie, but you TOTALLY are. We both know I'm too type A and traditional to be a hippie."

"Traditional?"

"Yeah. I just hide it well. For example, assuming you do propose, I expect you to talk to my dad beforehand."

"I am so NOT asking your dad's permission."

"Um, then I'm not marrying you."

"You're serious?"

"As a heart attack."

"What, you're going pause a moment after I ask you to marry me, and instead of saying yes, you're going to ask whether or not I've spoken to your dad yet?"

"No. I would probably say yes, and then after freaking out, ask you whether or not you spoke to my dad. If you hadn't, I would return the ring."

"Give me a break."

"You've always known I'm a daddy's girl. Don't act all surprised. Besides, I don't expect you to ask permission, per se. Just talk to him. Take him out to dinner. Get him a scotch. You just need his blessing. It's a respect thing."

"Look, I have all the respect in the WORLD for your dad. But I'm not going to ask his permission. I thought that when I spoke to him it would go something like this...."

At that point the boy launched into an eloquent speech that had no hesitations, no repeats and clearly had been thought out and carefully considered.**** I was surprised and touched.***** At the end I said, "What are you talking about? That's perfect. Complete crap, but perfect! Exactly what you should say."

"I know it's not true yet. But someday. Hopefully someday soon. Besides, I have a lot of respect for your dad, and I think he likes me too.****** I don't think he would say no."

".... Well, he probably won't. Of course, if "soon" is within the next five years, he's been given very specific instructions to tell you to bug off."

"Bitch."

"Yeah, I wouldn't recommend calling me that in front of my dad. It might hurt your chances."

*as well as some napping and a lot of Stephen King literature in AudioBook form.

**he said he had already decided. Cute, right? I countered with "I know. Actually, what I'm doing is giving Tyson more time to pass on."

***Melodramatic? Me?

****It was also completely fabricated and bore no semblance of reality.

*****Until I remembered that it was complete bull.

******He does. Now my mom on the other hand....