I caught a few moments of a re-run of the show "How I Met Your Mother" the other evening. (Side note: If you're not watching this show - even on occasion - you're missing out. Consistently one of the funniest sitcoms I've seen in a while. Neil Patrick Harris KILLS as Barney) The show centered around setting friends up on blind dates, and how every date came with a "but."
"He's a great guy, he's funny, he's smart, but..."
When one of the girls within the circle of friends asked what her "but" was, all of her friends thought of one, but said out loud that of course she didn't have one! She was a great girl!
The concept made me laugh. I am under no illusions of perfection, and I have honest friends, so I thought I would ask what my "but" was.
When I posed the question to my closest male friend, his answer was returned pretty quickly. "She's a great girl, but she has a temper."
He said it was the perfect "but" to tell a new guy. I know it's true, and the guy that he's hypothetically setting me up with will not think it's a huge deal until he inevitably does something stupid and is faced with the temper himself.
At first I was relieved. I don't hide the fact that I have a temper. And my temper, though scary, has a long fuse. It usually takes a lot to make me angry, and it usually takes a lot from someone I care a lot about to make me angry. (I was going to put some blah blah in here about how friends and acquaintances might not know about the temper....but then I reconsidered. I think everyone who knows me knows about the temper...) But in my mind, there are SO many other things that are far far worse...
"She's a great girl, but she's emotionally high maintenance."
"She's a great girl, but you should see her road rage."
"She's a great girl, but she's incredibly stubborn."
"She's a great girl, but she'll obsess about her weight constantly."
But then I asked the boyfriend what my "but" was. His response? "She's a great girl, but she's crazy."
After I was done laughing, I got him to be more specific and determined that the "crazy" was the same as the aforementioned temper. Once I clarified to that point, I got things like, "You're Italian and Peruvian - it's that sort of crazy. You're a fireball. When you're angry, you're like that volcano guy on MarioKart who spews out fire and boulders."
At this point I have to concede. Apparently my temper IS my "but." It's what makes my friend's boyfriend (whom I've only met once!!) say that I'm "scary."
Is it bad that instead of worrying about this temper that is the first thing that comes to mind as my "but," I'm relieved that the temper overshadows my other neurosis?