Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Identity Crisis

I never thought I was a girly girl. I mean, I don't feel like a girly girl. I don't get manicures, I don't get pedicures, I don't get my hair done on a regular basis. If I could get away with never wearing makeup, I would never wear makeup. I hate to shop. I'm not a huge fan of chocolate. I love football... The list goes on and on...

I know I don't like bugs, and that I'm emotionally high maintenance, OH, and I can hold a grudge like no one's busines... and then there's that thing about being manipulative if it suits me.... but it's not like I can't get dirty. It's not like I make my boyfriend watch chick flicks. It's not like I can't talk sports with the best of them. And when I go to sporting events, I will NEVER be that girl in stilettos and a skintight jersey. I'll be the girl in sneakers and a ponytail.

And, case in point, I'm not at all worried about turning the big 3-0. In fact, instead of dreading it, I'm celebrating it, and heading to Peru to hike the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu. I have friends who would rather get pampered at a spa. Or go on a huge shopping spree so that 30 feels fabulous. That's just not me. I would apparently rather spend money I don't have on an adventure that I'm not really equipped for.

Not girly.

I think this is exciting. Sure, I'm not super outdoorsy, but this is an adventure. It will be exciting, and I'll bond with my friend, and we can say we turned 30 in unusual style. This was my outlook on the whole thing until recently. This past Sunday to be exact.

This past Sunday was the day I purchased my first pair of hiking boots.

In retrospect, I think I made a mistake inviting the boyfriend to join me on this hiking boot purchasing expedition. I mean, it makes sense on paper - he is the outdoorsman. He does hike on a (semi) regular basis. He has a watch with an altimeter on it for goodness' sake. He camps. He fishes. He knows about all this stuff. So of course he would steer me in the direction of purchasing good hiking boots. He wouldn't let me buy something that would make my feet cry in agony halfway through my little "adventure."

I just didn't think they would be ugly as sin.

I mean, there were these Columbia hiking boots that I thought were okay. They looked like something a girl would wear. They were waterproof. Columbia is a good brand. What else do I need?

I heard all this "blah blah support, blah blah blisters, blah blah REAL hiking boots." All I saw was ugly. Seriously. And while my rational mind knows that the boots are comfortable, and they're waterproof, and they'll keep me from getting blisters, and they're practical, and the boyfriend knows what he's doing... the rest of me is depressed at the thought of wearing these shoes for four days straight.

It's a feeling completely foreign to me. I mean, I GREW UP wearing things that I didn't want to wear because my mother wanted me to. She had a distinctly different sense of style from me, so until I got brave enough to explain that sequined t-shirts were not acceptable to wear in the third grade, I was in sequins, and skirts, and sequined skirts..... I would just bite my lip and get through it. Wearing the clothing I didn't like was easier than explaining to my mother why I didn't want to wear it. I'm such an expert in "grin and bear it" that even now, I care very little about my appearance. If it's comfortable, I'll wear it. Unless I'm heading out somewhere where appearances matter, I'm content to wear clothing that is Who cares, really? If you judge me because you think I look unattractive, you should see me when I put some effort into my appearance. Don't judge too quickly, buddy.

And in the Andes, who's going to be judging my choice of footwear?

Apparently I am.

I read my friend Alisa's blog about snow boots and laughed. I think the snow boots she currently has are perfectly acceptable and cute. Yet, she's convinced she needs some "cuter" shoes. I didn't get it. Now? Well, I'm so sorry I laughed at your angst Alisa. Seriously.

I'm supposed to break these suckers in for the next month. I can barely bring myself to wear them in public. I wish I were kidding. Nevermind that they're waterproof and warm in the snow we have. Nevermind that they're comfortable and I still need to get used to them. I feel like everyone is staring at my feet and thinking....

Well, thinking something not very politically correct.

I'm such a girl.


ant said...

I feel your pain. I'm not going to lie - I gasped a little when I saw your hiking boots. BUT they are functional. I've learned most things with a functional purpose do not look cute (case in point my current running shoes - why are running shoes so hideous?) ... as long as your feet are comfortable and the shoes provide a blister free, waterproof Peruvian adventure then they could very well be bright orange and lime green with puffy paint on them - right? :)

Jac said...

You're crazy! With a nice pair of wide-leg jeans who is really going to notice? Especially if you DO have snow. Suck it up! :)

ems said...

Suck it up, she says. Did you SEE the shoes?

But I would like to note that both ANT and JAC commented on this blog and didn't disagree with the statement that I am NOT a girly girl (ahem, Kat(i)e, ahem.)

AnnD said...

They aren't too bad, they are a bit colorful. But, you won't care if your feet are hurting! I am on Nathan's side and say go with the wise decision and the ugly boots.

We are sooo much alike! Shopping, clothes, hair, make-up, nails...sooo NOT a priority for me. Except the football thing...I could care less about football.